Ep 15: Four stages of embodiment to create lasting change in your daily life

Hello, my beautiful introvert friend. Welcome to episode number 15 of the empowered introvert podcast, where I am going to go through the four stages of embodiment of a change that you are making in your life. Until it becomes. Embodied. Right until you live it with such ease that it's like brushing your teeth. So. But first, how are you? How's it going? It is almost July and things are rolling. Here for sure. I have in recording lists almost at eight o'clock on Monday, which is not how I typically roll, but I actually was really jazzed about this topic today and ended up writing a blog post. So my time that I usually spend doing my podcast was spent writing. And so there is a blog post that you can read that goes along with this. And then I had other things in life. I had networking meeting, a doctor's appointment. I wanted to get my run in, get some dinner and have a little downtime. And just come to this recording, feeling excited and rested. But I am in my lounge pants. I'm in my jammies and I I'm on the more chill side of things. So let's see how it goes today. I like to really be transparent about how I'm showing up, because I think there could be this idea that we need to be polished and professional. And that just creates a lot of pressure for folks like me. If you're an introvert, you might feel pressure having to conform because you don't have as much energy oftentimes it takes energy to be polished and professional, and it's really like why. Why do I need to feel like I'm ready to go to a corporate sales meeting when I do my podcasts? No, I, that's not a vibe that I want anyways, ever in my life. So why do that? For my podcast? So I've got my jammies on. All right, so. This topic the TA it's really about creating change and understand the understanding where you are in the process of creating transformation in your life. And I've been thinking about it because of my S my special summer coaching integration session and why someone would be a good fit for that, for the integration piece versus the other stages of, of embodying a change. And so that really inspired what I'm going to be sharing with you here today. So these four steps are what I have observed, not only in my clients, but in myself. I definitely have lived this this process. And it's really cool when I stopped to look at what do I do now, really well, that is something that I had to decide to do a change that I had to decide to make. And go through that, the process of creating the change, which is often of hard. Let's begin by talking about what the heck embodiment is anyways, and the way that I'm using this word today. So what that means it's like brushing your teeth. That there is something that, you know so well that it requires almost no effort to do, to remember, to do it, to add, to go through with it. And it's such a part of who you are or your routine. That You do it effortlessly. So an example of what this looks like is I started jogging earlier this year. I don't know if it's still winter, so maybe February or March. So I went from. Like walk jogging. And the jogging part was about two minutes and that was, that was hard, but I wasn't also pushing myself. A lot. I was just kind of letting it be hard and then not jogging. And. And it took effort to remember to do it. To to actually follow through with it, because I wouldn't feel like doing it. And now it is really only like three or four months later. And it's such a part of my daily schedule and my daily rhythm. My body looks forward to it. I want to do it. It really. Might not be easy some days, cause I'm still increasing my distance and my time, but I've ran three and a half miles today. And it felt pretty easy. And the cool thing is, is that. There's a lot of benefits that have come from it too. I feel stronger. I feel like my weight is, is definitely diff different than it was my body fat. I'm not, I'm not super focused on that, but it feels good to feel more fit. And I think that's what we look for when we're, when we want to create a change. It's it's about more than just brushing your teeth every day, going for a run every day or journaling every day, or saying hi to a, another human being. Every time you go to a networking meeting. It's about the bigger impact that it has in how you see yourself and how you show up in the world. And I like to think about it as it's not just on a, like a mental wrote level, but it's like a body mind and soul embodiment is really when you, you know, you've become this change and. And being careful with the word become because sometimes. When we want to make a change, we're coming from a place of lack. And like, we're not good enough. Or we don't, we don't have the capacity or like, we need to become someone other than we are. We're an introvert and we need to become more extroverted. So people will like us more. That kind of thing is like, no. No, not at all. What embodiment is like actually being more of who you truly are. And remove, like helping you to heal and remove the things that are getting in the way of you fully expressing yourself. And showing up. To your highest potential. So I break down the stages of embodiment into four stages. And just keeping in mind that we're human and we like, you know, Things aren't totally linear. Like we'll jump around and whatnot. So don't get. Like too hung up in, in the literalness of stage one, two and three. But these are, this is a general sequence where, so the first stage is identifying. So identifying. A problem, identifying the change that, that you need. Because you're coming from a place of things are okay. You know, you're. They're going in a way that it's okay. Enough that you're not aware of a problem yet of a need for a change, but then something shifts right. Then like with running, I was feeling. Like, well, I was, I was back country skiing and my heart rate was like, It was just going through the roof. Like my fitness level was really holding me back this winter. And that had a lot of, lot of affects in, in my desire to be outside. And so When that became clear that I needed to do more. Exercise beyond skiing. Then that was like, I was in that stage of identifying like what the problem was that I wanted to solve. And, you know, you're in the stage when things can feel off. You're safe. You're struggling or your life isn't fitting anymore. The things that you've been doing, the strategies that you've had before. You're not getting the same results. You might feel an urge. You might feel a calling desire for something, and you're not necessarily clear on what it is. Or you might be having a pattern of like coming back to the same crappy place, like, you know, a pattern of failure and instead of, of learning and getting better each time, it kind of feels like it's getting worse. Right. And this can end up looking like what we call like a tipping point or rock bottom. And mental health is a sure sign when you're having challenges with mental health that, you know, there is something that is off. So stress, doubt, anxiety. Oftentimes, you know, like underneath that there is an invitation, right. An invitation to, for transformation for change. Now, oftentimes at this phase. Depending on like what the problem is. Like you can get really stuck in it because you're so busy living your life. You have a million things to do. You're already overwhelmed. You don't have time to, to rest or reflect. And and oftentimes we end up blaming. Are the way that we feel on our situation. Like it's, you know, it's because of my job is because of my family situation because of this, this, and this. And so whenever we blame where. We're robbing ourselves of the opportunity to to make, create, change ourselves within ourselves. So this phase, this phase of identifying of becoming aware, like in order for you to become aware of what the change that you want to make is what the problem is. You often need to. Kind of pause things for a little bit. You need to give yourself some deep breasts. You need to step away from your day-to-day life. Give yourself some deep self care. And get your journal out, go on a retreat. Give your S like, give your mind and spirits and space to allow your inner wisdom to come forth, to find. The right energy and and inspiration and support. So oftentimes like when you're in this beginning phase, You'll you could benefit from. Just having people know that you're not doing so well or that you're trying to figure this out. Maybe reaching out to, through prayer or connecting to a higher source. Therapy is really great at this point. And coaching can be helpful to. Depending on your level of function. Is it ideally you want to come out of this phase, having a fairly clear idea of what, what the problem is, what the topic, the changes the goal is. And con it the root source or like root the root changes that you can make. Actually, you won't know the root changes to make, but that is the. That is the the next phase. But it's more identifying that there could be a root source that the, that the question. That's it identifying the question of like, what is the source of this? How can I change it? So for me, my brute was root source. Was that my fitness level? Was not enough. To handle. What I was asking of it when I would go up and climb mountains in the winter. Okay, so now you get to stage two. So stage two is inform. Information. So you have an idea of what the problem is, the change that you want to bank. Now you figure out all of the information about it. You do the research you do in the Google searches, right? You are reading books, taking classes, joining Facebook groups, or talk to all your friends who have experienced this. You're talking to professionals, you know, you're getting a diagnosis from a professional and you are like, like. Looking at all the different ways that people solve this problem. The challenges of being in the stage while it's great to have information, it can be really easy to get stuck in, in consuming. Information. In too much research. Because information, it does not create change. Right. Just knowing something. It is not the same as actually practicing it. And through experience. Learning about it. So with the application, that is where the true learning comes from. So we often forget this in the, when. We're informing ourselves. And we can, we can get caught in this dynamic of looking outside. Ourselves for the answers. And oftentimes I have definitely experienced this. This can lead to you choosing solutions that don't fit you, and then you end up implementing them, integrating them, and you spend a lot of time and energy and money on it. And in the end, it doesn't really get you what you want with. You know is fine, but sometimes you can avoid that. When you look within yourself Limiting beliefs and self doubt can come up at this phase too. And can keep you thinking that, okay. I, I can't actually do this change isn't possible. And you might even look to your past and say like, oh, look at this. Like, this is why. I can't ever run because I have back problems. Right. 'cause I have you. Lower back, blah, blah, blah. And then you can decide not to go, not to do it right. So. So at this stage to keep moving forward. It's very important to think about combining information with integration. Which is step three. So, and, and really focusing the consumption of information on that application. So try to consume. You know, once you've done your first like big burst of like, oh, like, this is amazing. I'm learning all this stuff. Really constrain yourself to consume information only as much as you need to take action. And really make sure that your sources, your information sources align with who you are with your values with you as an introvert, because there is so much information out there, right? And a lot of it is made for people who are not you, and no matter who you are. Right. So as, as an introvert, as a, as a fear, a projector, as someone who has less energy is more unconventional. Like, please be very, very selective about whose information that you are following. So the, for me, in my running, I was fortunate enough that my I'm using a, a coaching program that comes with my watch. That is very gentle. And I love it because it, it just does very, very slight increases and it'll decrease based on it'll decrease. The, the length of runs based on how I'm feeling. But there's, I'm sure there's plenty of programs out there that are more about, okay, we're just gonna get it. We're gonna like go from zero to 11 in a week. Right. That would not work for me. That would burn me out. And and I would quit and sure. There's people that would love that. Not for me. Also at this stage, this is a great stage to practice. Looking within for quote unquote information for your inner wisdom and creating practices, or coming back to practices that help you to do that. Like meditating, journaling. You know, connecting to your guides of what. Ever you do. It can also be helpful to set deadlines. So give yourself like a month or two and gentle deadlines. Not like hardcore. Flagellate self-flagellation deadlines, but like say like, I am going to learn about this and like for the next month, and then like, I could have done, like, I'm going to study different running techniques or shoes or whatever for two weeks, and then I'm going to start my running program. Yeah. It really. Also just lean into trusting that you like, you know, enough, like you will figure it out. How did you go? You will have the right timing. There is no rush. So this takes us to stage three. Integration. This stage is about solving your problem. About creating the change about really starting to live, live it too. To move towards the. Body mint by doing it by practicing it. So, you know, you're in the stage. If you have. Clear vision of what you want to create a fairly clear vision. And some ideas about how to get there. And you've decided to do it. Like you have decided that yes, I am going to do this. You've gone from. Just being curious to being certain or a willing. Willing to try it out. So you are. Prob, like if you're in the stage, you're probably working on it already or you've been working on it for awhile. And you're able to identify when you fall back into an old pattern. So, you know, if you're, if you're working on not eating. Eating sweets. Then when you eat sweets, you can, you'll often recognize, oh, like I had a stressful day and then I went to the bakery and before I knew it, I had eaten five cookies. And here I am back in my old pattern. Like you can identify. And so there can be this often, this interplay of. Of of being an old pattern of being in a new, new pattern. Often you hire lots of energy. The cat's here. I don't know if you can hear that, but she's mailing. It can require lots of energy and focus. To, to do the thing right too. It's like in the beginning with running for me, it, it took energy. It took some extra pushing. Come on Katie. Oh, there we go. All right. If you're out, if you're watching on YouTube, you could see the cat now. She's. There we go. She's in my arms. Yeah, it's hard. It can, it can feel like hard work and you can some of the challenges are that you can end up. Getting feeling a little bit frustrated because you're not going as fast as you would like. You can feel, get caught up in feeling a sense of urgency. I'm like, I need to get this done and need to figure this out now. Is taking longer than a want and I could also bring up. Trauma responses, limiting beliefs. It can make your nervous system feel uncomfortable. 'cause even bef like whenever you make a change, you're changing the like the stasis, the homeostasis of your system. And even if it was like in a not ideal state, Any changes, going to feel kind of uncomfortable so it can bring up a lot of stuff. And then also your external life. Is used to you being the way you were. All right. So like with my example, it's, you know, it's kind of a light example. It's not like a major life transformation, but my schedule was set up. You know, in a way where it didn't have time for running. And so I had to go and create that. And that took some effort, you know, other people in your life, they are, they're used to you doing the old thing or. You know, when you're, when you're upset going to get the cookies and they love eating cookies with you. Right. They like that gives them an excuse to eat cookies. So when you're not eating cookies, then they feel like, Hey, I want my cookies with, let's go get some cookies. Something's wrong. So those are just kind of silly examples, but sometimes like your life needs to change. Like you need to make some external changes to your environment. You need to talk to people that you're in relationship with. And, and kind of like help you. Like do what you need to help yourself your new self settle in like a dog will go up to a place that it wants to lay down and kind of like push the blankets around, you know, and it creates a space for itself. And that is what. You sometimes need to do in this stage. So. Again, really leaning into supporting yourself. Into finding support. For you, excuse me, leaning into trust that you're like, you will figure it out. Your process is. Is everything is figureoutable. Doing the healing work that you need. If the trauma trauma responses are coming up, if stuff. Limiting beliefs are coming up. There are tools that can help you. These don't need to be reasons that keep you from getting to your goal. Having a system of accountability. You know, buddying up with a friend, having a support group or Facebook group that can do it with you or just support to keep you showing up can be fantastic. And one of the best tools for when you're is self-reflection and evaluation. So. Oh, my cat keeps okay, Katie, you're going down. She keeps looking at me. So evaluating your progress and especially when things don't go so well. From a place of curiosity. And I have a super easy process that I use with all of my clients. And what it does is turn a failure or quote unquote failure. Into learning. And also helps you to celebrate everything that's going well, so that you can identify clearly, like this is what is working and I'm going to keep doing that. And this is what isn't working. So I'm going to try these other things. So. You always like you discover what to do as you go. You know, This is implementing. This is. Really into grading your knowledge and your experience. Into your life into creating the change. And it's at this level, that coaching is incredibly powerful, which is the focus of my summer coaching session. The integration sessions. So it's all about supporting you in this phase of change creation. So you know what you want, you have. You're some information and now you are doing now you're putting into practice. Now you are learning as you go. And getting data from that so that you can become more and more successful in it. Stage four. Here we go. This is where we all want to get to as quickly as we can. It's embodiment. So this is the stage for the problem is solved. It's resolved. You know, not necessarily a hundred percent. Not all of the time. But it is very much a part of you and how you do things you've gotten. Through the crises through the identity crisis. And you don't require so much thought and energy to live it. And because of that, it makes it easy to continue. It has a natural momentum. So even when you revert to old patterns, And say, you know, you go on vacation and you eat five cookies every day for a week and you don't run. When you come back. To to from your vacation, you just start running again and you're not eating cookies anymore, and it's not a big deal. And. Especially. Especial to note. How do I say this? The way that you think of yourself has shifted. So you see yourself as someone who is a runner, you see yourself as someone who doesn't eat cookies every day, who eat is a healthy eater. So that means that when you don't. Run. It doesn't call into question your identity. And this is the stage where people. Have you noticed, they noticed the change that you've made, they noticed your success and they love to come to you for your insight. So you can be a guide, a mentor, and be a support for other people who want to create the same change that you did. So in terms of the challenges that happen at this stage the main one that I see is not appreciating your success, not acknowledging the amazing. Effort and accomplishment that you had. So this can be a perfect time to establish a practice of, of gratitude. And yeah. Self acknowledgment. This. Look like at the end of the day, choosing three things that you're grateful for, or my personal favorite is like every time you have an accomplishment, like during the day you did a major thing on him on a project, or you just like got your to do like one thing on your to-do list. Done. You pause and you appreciate yourself. And you're like, Hey, I did this. I'm awesome. Good job. And breathe for a moment. Let yourself absorb it before you jump into the next thing. And like I said earlier, Teach share coach. Other people want to create the same change that you're creating. Your knowledge is so valuable. Okay. There we go. We have made it through the four stages of embodiment. We have. Identify the problem. Inform yourself. Integrate your solutions and then embody the solution. I would love to know what you think. Run your experience through these four stages and. Notice where you're at in the changes that you want to make, what stage are you in? I would love to hear your reflections. Find me on, on Facebook, on Instagram. If you're not on my email list, you can join that on my website or I'll throw a link in the In the notes for the podcast. Okay. So with that I want to end with just a quick update about what I've got going on and that I'm going to be pausing. The actual is not a pause coming to the end of season one for this podcast, because I'm going on vacation this at this coming month, I'll be doing a lot of traveling. And I'm also doing a lot of reflection on, on my business. On my focus on how I'm showing up in the world and there's going to be some changes happening. I don't know what they are. I'm kind of in the, like the first. I mean the identify and inform stage right now for this. But I am sure that it's going to Like it brings some really cool things to the podcast. So I'm going to do an episode just to kind of wrap up the season and then I'll be off until sometime in, in August. In the meantime if you're looking for coaching we still have a few more days but you can sign up for my summer integrated integration coaching And that's the it's the vr it's like super flexible Two months coaching where we do a strategy session On what it is that you are working on and then we spend the next two weeks you integrating it we coach via voxer or any other voice message to help keep you moving As you are living your busy beautiful summer so you can sign up for that on my website By friday All right Fred's thank you so much for making it to the end i appreciate you and yeah i will see you next time Big laugh.