Ep 7: Overcoming self-doubt & freaking out as an introvert




Heidi: 00:00:00

Welcome my beautiful introvert friend. This is episode seven, overcoming self doubt and freaking out as an introvert. This is such an important topic because so many introverts are held back by self doubt and it does not have to be this way. Self-doubt is one of the major roadblocks to being wildly successful in your work, in your relationships, in your life, in feeling personally fulfilled, feeling like you are experiencing and being in your life to the fullest of your potential. 


Heidi: 00:00:42

Not saying that you need to feel that way all of the time, but self doubt can keep you from feeling it at most of the time. And the thing is, is that it's a very normal experience as a human being. It's normal in work to feel self doubt, but we don't talk about it at work. How often does self-doubt come up at the water cooler, self-doubt is something that we keep to ourselves. We hide it right. And because we hide it. We don't learn how to overcome, how to work with it. How to have it be part of our experience without holding us back. 


Heidi: 00:01:24

It is a solvable problem. That is the key. And with this episode, I want, if you experience self doubt holding you back, if you feel like it is a roadblock for you, I want this episode to be the beginning of the next version of yourself, of the solution so that you will walk away and know what to do, how to support yourself and know how to move around the roadblock of self doubt. 


Heidi: 00:01:56

Sound good. All right. So I am just letting you know, I am very jet lagged. And very tired and also pretty fired up about this topic because I connect to it personally. Self-doubt has been such a big part of my own journey. I deal with it all of the time and self-doubt solving. 


Heidi: 00:02:20

Quote, unquote, solving self-doubt doesn't mean you're you annhilate it so you don't ever feel it again. I mean, I wish I never felt self doubt. Wouldn't that be amazing? But you know what it is along for the ride. And it is a long for my ride. And some days it is better than others, but here I am keep showing up because I have a mission, a mission to help introverts, like you create beautiful, amazing empowered lives. 


Heidi: 00:02:55

Today we are going to look at why self-doubt is common for introverts. Why it is not actually a problem. And then how to overcome self-doubt or freaking out. And get stuff done so that you can create the life that you want. 


Heidi: 00:03:14

Let's get started. What is self doubt anyways? So we've got the word self and the word doubt. But that word self in front, it means it is something that we are doing to ourselves. That it's the way that we think about ourselves, the way that we question ourselves. So self-doubt is feeling a lack of confidence in your ability to do something. 


Heidi: 00:03:42

And that information, it, it comes from your own brain from your own way of thinking it's coming from within you. You are the one that is generating the self-doubt. And often your brain will actually look outside of you to prove that it's true. It will say, Hey, like I'm not the person for this project at work. 


Heidi: 00:04:09

And look at all these reasons why this is true because I missed something. I didn't, I don't know how to explain this topic fully. I'm I'm not, I don't have a PhD in the area. And there are other people who are more qualified in the world and. Then me that could be doing this. And that sounds very logical, right? The brain is super tricky. It is really great at coming up with arguments to prove that you should feel self doubt. 


Heidi: 00:04:43

Self doubt is often an expression of stress. And in our world, we are chronically stressed. We're chronically overwhelmed. We are often ungrounded, overworked, you know, all of the things. And when you are experiencing this not only is your brain tend to be in danger mode, where it's looking for all of the reasons you should be in danger mode. 


Heidi: 00:05:11

Your body is also experiencing danger mode, stress. Like something has gone wrong. 


Heidi: 00:05:20

self doubt, it's not just you questioning yourself, but it's you feel having a feeling in your body of discomfort often have anxiety, anxiety, and self doubt. Often go hand in hand. And as an introvert self doubt can be common because you have. 


Heidi: 00:05:43

Often a more sensitive and nervous system. Your nervous system tends to experience stress. A bit more easily. It tends to experience anxiety a bit more easily. If you haven't heard the earlier episodes on the introvert nervous system, go listen to those that are really give you a good understanding of how your nervous system works. 


Heidi: 00:06:12

Introverts are also naturally very introspective. They often spend a lot of times in their head thinking. But when you combine this with being in a state of stress or danger mode, That thinking tends towards the negative. It tends towards the catastrophic. This is what turns self-doubt. Which is questioning yourself, thinking I need to prepare more before I give a presentation, or I'm not an organized enough person to take on this task, or I'm too quiet to represent my company and ask for donations or asked to get paid for what I offer. 


Heidi: 00:06:55

When you move from self doubt into freak out, it's like I'm too quiet and I'm going to lose my job. I'm not organized enough so I'm going to get put off of the project, or I'm not the person for this project and I'm going to lose the respect of all of my colleagues. 


Heidi: 00:07:15

Very rarely does that ever come to fruition, but our brains will tend to spend a lot of time there if they are in freak out mode. 


Heidi: 00:07:27

Self doubt and stress go hand in hand. Self-doubt often leads to freaking out, which is a more more stressful experience of it. And freaking out. Oftentimes your emotions become so big and so scary. You do not want to feel that way yet. You do feel that way and you end up fighting against it with everything that you have. This is where you might turn into a toddler and throw a tantrum, get really mad at someone, or just completely want to hide what you want to quit your job and move to Mexico so that you can sell cupcakes on the beach. 


Heidi: 00:08:13

Self-doubt is not fun. Freaking out is not fun. These are not emotions and feelings and thoughts that we want to have. Yeah, they're happening to us because our brain, when it's in danger mode, our primitive brain is the one that is calling the shots. It is the one T like serving up thoughts. Of danger, danger, danger. You aren't enough here. This isn't you. 


Heidi: 00:08:40

You haven't said enough. You're too quiet, blah, blah, blah. This is a problem. Red alert, red alert, red alert. 


Heidi: 00:08:47

And so it puts you into the stress mode, is that when that is in charge of your life, it affects your decision-making. Because if you believe that you aren't enough on a project, then you will start to question yourself, you start to spend a lot of time doing research, overthinking communication, looking to other people, instead of turning to yourself, instead of doing the work of finding what you have to say. Instead of writing the email, getting it done, letting it be like just okay. And doing the work that really matters to push the project along. 


Heidi: 00:09:29

Self-doubt puts you in your stress mode. So you'll tend to respond in your stress response, which it could be hiding. It could be pulling yourself out of the situation. It could be being combative and judgmental and spending a lot of attention, finding things that are wrong. It could be people pleasing and really pandering to other people instead of living into your power, your perspective, and speaking your truth, even though it feels uncomfortable and scary. 


Heidi: 00:10:03

Self-doubt in and of itself is some thoughts and some feelings that you have in your body. It is not the truth. Of who you are, of what you are capable of, of how you will perform on a project. Of your ability to relate to people. It is just a habitual way for you to think and feel when your body, when your brain experiences. 


Heidi: 00:10:32

Threat perceives, perceived quote, quote, danger. 


Heidi: 00:10:37

And in truth. So if you were able to like reach into your head into your brain, pull out those self-doubting thoughts, let's imagine to some spaghetti, you pull out the spaghetti, you put it into a bowl. You reach into your body and you pull out the strings of spaghetti. Self-doubt spaghetti. You put it into a bowl. 


Heidi: 00:10:59

What remains? It's you, it's all the rest of you, you, in your power, you in your genius, your wisdom, your experience, that is you. That is you, who is capable of doing the hard things of feeling uncomfortable and speaking up. Feeling uncomfortable and going forward with the project. When you are aware and connected to this fundamental truth, that you are capable, that you have wisdom and experience that is valuable. 


Heidi: 00:11:37

Then you can take action from there. Knowing, you've got this bowl of nasty self Dowdy spaghetti, right there. It is not a problem. Right? You might, you might feel it. You can see it. It is palpable, but even though. Self-doubt is there you are still amazing and have so much to contribute. 


Heidi: 00:12:00

And when you do the work of aligning with this truth. Then you are setting yourself up for wild success in your life. For taking the scary steps for continually showing up for being seen, willing to be heard, willing, to feel uncomfortable along the way, willing to feel the self doubt. And moving forward, expanding into this bigger version of yourself, your work, your relationships, your full potential. 


Heidi: 00:12:39

Does that sound amazing? Yes. It is amazing and it is accessible to you now, today in this moment. If it feels really hard. I am going to give you some steps here on how to overcome. No, that you can reach out to me with questions. You can sign up for a free call with me to talk about how you can create this for yourself. If you need this, don't wait. It is here. Confidence is available for you. 


Heidi: 00:13:15

So, how do you overcome self-doubt or freaking out? 


Heidi: 00:13:19

The first thing is to acknowledge what is happening to name it. Say, I am experiencing self doubt. I am freaking the fuck out. Here I am. Just like a loving parent would do with the toddler. Who's freaking out. 


Heidi: 00:13:38

They would hold space. They would have compassion and be like, yes, I am here. This sucks. 


Heidi: 00:13:48

And they wouldn't try to change right away. Right? Like some parents, yes. They'll go in and try to make all the feelings go away. But hello. A lot of the loving parent will allow the child to process have that initial emotional experience. There are tools out there that can help you do this. 


Heidi: 00:14:07

I helped my clients process the big emotions. So, however you do it, give yourself some space, acknowledge it. And you might need to use your body to do this. So this could be yoga. If you could going for a walk, it could be putting your legs up the wall. It could be pounding on a pillow. Right. What you want to do is get the emotion, moving, get your neuro-transmitters moving so that you shift from that self doubt, freak out state. 


Heidi: 00:14:39

Into a calmer state and you're calling that stress. And when you're, once you do that, then you can do your self coaching. What is self-coaching it is choosing your thoughts. It is. Noticing that you are an amazing, capable human being. It is remembering that you have so much wisdom, so much untapped genius, so much more to explore and discover and share. 


Heidi: 00:15:14

That that is all within you. 


Heidi: 00:15:17

So using your brain to remember that. 


Heidi: 00:15:21

You can also ask yourself great questions. Like. If it isn't true that I suck at networking. Then what? 


Heidi: 00:15:33

If it isn't true that I'm not the right person for this project. Then what? 


Heidi: 00:15:38

What if it is true that I am the right person for this project. Then what? 


Heidi: 00:15:45

If it is possible that I can do this, then what? 


Heidi: 00:15:51

How do I know it's possible that I can do this? Think about your accomplishments in the past. Oh, because I've done this I've I have organized an event before, I have traveled internationally, I have graduated with an MBA. Remember when you have succeeded in the past. 


Heidi: 00:16:16

Also, one of the great questions is can I be willing to feel this feeling? The self-doubt this beer, this discomfort. And take action. 


Heidi: 00:16:28

Remember the spaghetti bowl. Can imagine, Hey, all of these yucky feelings, like it's just a bunch of spaghetti. And. The truth of who I am is so much more bad-ass. 


Heidi: 00:16:41

All right. So your homework is to write down your major takeaway from this episode. And do it and incorporate it. Remind yourself. 


Heidi: 00:16:52

Use this episode to really shift yourself doubt so that you are no longer held back from it. But now you can allow it to be there and take action to really expand into the truth of who you are, into the most empowered, amazing version of yourself. 


Heidi: 00:17:16

With a caveat. This is not a magic wand. It's not like you do this work and the heavens open up and no longer do you feel self doubt and everything that the self-doubt is is blocking is all of a sudden in your lap, no work needed. 


Heidi: 00:17:36

No, you still will need to do work. 


Heidi: 00:17:39

Some days, it will feel easy. 


Heidi: 00:17:41

Some days it will not feel easy. You're still human self doubt will come up. 


Heidi: 00:17:46

But it is not a problem. It's just some thoughts and feelings. 


Heidi: 00:17:51

All right. Thank you so much for tuning in here today. If you love this episode, please share it with your friends. Please, please, please re-listen to it, rate it. Help me celebrate the amazingness of this ideas and get it out into the world. 


Heidi: 00:18:10

And if it feels difficult for you, if you want to take it to the next level, get in touch with me. I am here. 


Heidi: 00:18:17

I offer a free call where we work on anything that you need help with. 


Heidi: 00:18:23

So please, please, please. Let today be the last day that self doubt holds you back. Alright, take care of friends and I will see you next time. 


Heidi 00:18:33]