Processing news & having loving boundaries

How are you feeling as you process the news coverage of the crisis in Ukraine?

If it’s feeling like a lot, you’re in good company.

It’s been amazing to me that we can follow events so closely. It also can be quite alarming, though, especially for sensitive, empathetic folks or healers who hold space for others.

Often, our bodies and minds react to startling events by going into a stress response, like fight, flight or freeze. 

We can then find ourselves making choices about how to use our energy and time that are different than if we were in a calm state of mind, like:

• Obsessively watching the news
• Skipping exercise
• Treating ourselves/numbing with food and tv
• Getting stuck in overwhelm

Granted, if you’re already feeling frazzled from all the other stuff we’ve been collectively and individually managing over these past few years, then your stress response might just feel like a more intense version of whatever you’ve been doing.

So how can you support yourself during this time?

First of all, if there is something that you want to do to help the situation in Ukraine, then I encourage you to decide what that is and make it happen. This will help you to channel your stress and concern into a concrete action.

GoFundMe is taking donations to distribute to non-profit organizations to help Ukraine.

Secondly, I invite you to be extra loving and patient with yourself right now.

As part of this, having loving boundaries with your news consumption and the amount of attention you devote to the crisis will help you maintain your ojas (your vital life energy).

Loving boundaries mean you make decisions or rules with the intention of caring for yourself so that you can show up in your life with greater calm and energy, for the highest good of all concerned. 

Part of this is to get clear on what is yours to do and hold and what is not.

If your boundaries need to be communicated to others, tune into love first (by asking yourself the question “what would love do?”) and then take action from that place.

The goal is to create an emotional and physical space where you can allow your stress response to calm down and your nervous system to regulate.

This might look like:

• If your partner insists on watching the news all night, you might say “Dear, I really appreciate your concern for Ukraine. I share it. Right now, though, I need some silence. I’d love to just sit here with you. If you want to keep watching the news, I’m going to go to be early and read a book. I love you either way.”
• If your coworker wants to constantly talk about events, you might say “Yes, this is really important and I see that it’s really important for you. I really enjoy talking with you but right now I need to pause on this topic so that I can stay focused on my work. Are you ready to talk about {this work project}? If not, we can schedule it for another time.”

I hope this helps you to nourish your boundaries and your relationships. If you’d like some extra support, please take advantage of my free coaching call. Or respond to this email with how you’re feeling.

Loving boundaries mean you make decisions or rules with the intention of caring for yourself so that you can show up in your life with greater calm and energy, for the highest good of all concerned. 

Part of this is to get clear on what is yours to do and hold and what is not.

If your boundaries need to be communicated to others, tune into love first (by asking yourself the question “what would love do?”) and then take action from that place.

If you’d like some extra support, please take advantage of my free coaching call. Or respond to this email with how you’re feeling.

Wishing you presence and pause this week.