What does creating more confidence look like for you?
Simple? Agonizing? Lots of stops and starts and tail chasing?
I think a lot about how to help my introverted clients (and myself!) create lasting change and I want to share some observations that might be helpful for you in your own journey to create more confidence, peace & impact in your life…
The process & the drama
From a practical perspective, to create change you need a process (kinda like a recipe) that you apply to yourself. When you follow the process, you get the result you want.
A lá, to lose weight you follow the process of eating less and exercising more.
IF ONLY it were that simple, right?
But, we’re not robots. We don’t take new instructions then 2 seconds later spit out the result perfectly.
Just knowing the process is rarely enough.
Instead, we learn the process THEN we procrastinate, we start & stop, we break down…. And tell ourselves things like “it will never work” and “this just isn’t for me” and feel even worse for it.
This is drama.
Drama is a mix of disempowering mindset and negative emotion that can sap you of your energy to keep going. It’s your nervous system saying, “hey, something is different here and I don’t like anything different, wah!”.
We all do it. It’s part of being human.
And part of being introverted. As introverts we tend to have a lot of internal dialogue that we can get lost in, especially when there is chronic self-doubt and self-isolation.
Drama is also part of getting out of our comfort zone, interrupting habits, doing new things awkwardly and shedding our old self-concept (sense of who we are and what we’re capable of).
Learning how to calm and overcome drama is fundamental for you to build confidence and create lasting change.
There are skills that you can learn to help you do this, like:
- Nervous system care
- Knowing how to realign your mindset
- Processing negative emotion
- Acceptance of what is
- Creating empowering daily rhythms of self-care
- Knowing how to turn failure into learning
Often, the first step to create change is to learn these skills.
Then, you have to REMEMBER to use them as you follow the process to create the change that you want to see in your life.
As a coach, I recommend that you create your own Drama Self-Care Plan.
Here are the steps:
- Learn the techniques that work to help you get out of drama and into a calm, grounded state of mind so you can take consistent action.
- Write them down in your own Drama Self-Care Plan.
- Remind yourself once per week that you have a plan.
Pull out your Drama Self-Care Plan as soon as you start to feel out-of-whack. The sooner you intervene, the less time you’ll spend in drama and the sooner you’ll feel better and back on track.
No matter what, love yourself. Hold space for yourself. You are doing the best you can and improving as you go!
P.S. The skills of overcoming drama are the foundation of the work we do together in my coaching program. I teach you techniques from yoga, Ayurveda, tapping and life coaching that help you to manage drama and prevent it.
You learn powerful mindset tools to change the way you feel and the way you show up in your life. And the coaching relationship gives you the space to learn at your own pace, apply the work and troubleshoot obstacles as they arise.
If this speaks to you and you’re curious about what it would be like to work together, schedule a call with me.